Tie Me Up – Tie Me Down
My sweet blog - how I miss thee. It’s been a while and I have truly missed my blog. I have many excuses, well let’s not call them excuses but maybe obligations or at least perceived responsibilities. My career, my husband, my life, my aerial studio, so much time gets spent on other things that the blog has been neglected, life gets in the way. In fact lack of time seems to be a running theme with me lately.
I used to love Superwoman (not Wonder Woman but her evil counterpart - clearly I have a dark side), not so much anymore. I now think superheros are overrated. I LOVE owning a studio and LOVE being married and LOVE my television career but sometimes I just want to surf – or sleep – or take a class and not have to worry about being bubbly and signing everyone into the class. Sometimes I just want to have a few (i.e. many) drinks on a Friday night and not have to deal with my "crack of dawn" obligations on Saturday. Sometimes I just want to make a pole video in a full on vinyl outfit and put it up online without thinking about my television career. Sometimes I want to have the entire bed to myself and not snuggle up to my sweet husband because I really just want to stretch out. Sometimes I just want to write blog entries while watching Dr. Spencer Reid in the background on reruns of Criminal Minds. You get the picture. Please don't get me wrong, I am lucky, I am blessed, I know this but sometimes...
Something hit me about my blog the other day, in a quest to try to consolidate and simplify things in my life I tied my blog to my studio Aeriform Arts. Yet ever since it has been tied to my studio I have used it less and less. Part of this might be because as the studio has become busier I have just had less time. But if I am honest with myself I have noticed that I have started to “edit” my ideas for articles due to owning the studio. I’ve actually kind of edited my life as well. Veruca Blue is around much less but Lea the tv exec/studio owner seems to be around all the time. I’ll come up with a fun idea that might be a little raunchy and I'll think “oh wait how will the studio clients feel about that” or maybe the entry I want to write isn’t PC enough – well crap this isn’t working – and really why does Veruca Blue’s blog need to be tied to her studio anyhow. It doesn’t, and it’s not anymore – yay for me, I think?
Who knows – this is all a process, hell life is a process. I do think this will help me feel a tad less like Lea the tv exec/studio owner and more like VB the Jack Daniel’s swilling, slightly foul-mouthed, yet ever so Zen, continuously trying to quit smoking, addicted to cheese/chocolate/coffee, while trying to eat more clean, full of contractions, aerialist. She’s a shit load of fun & I miss her. Plus being a Gemini I do feel like the two should be able to co-exist in, if not exact harmony, some sort of semblance of sisterhood.
What do you do to create harmony and balance in your life?
I still haven't figured out my time issues but I am trying to dedicate at least 1 day a week to myself, the hubby and my friends. Trying to go to bed earlier, trying to get more done during the week with less procrastinating so it doesn't bleed into the weekend. Trying to slow down a bit and enjoy my life with the realization I don't always have to be "go gadget go" and that maybe Superwoman really was an evil wench. Trying to allow myself to enjoy my husband, my career, my studio, my blog, my life without becoming resentful of the exact things I so vehemently sought out. It's beginning to work - sometimes...