the weight of things...

This is a combo of an old post of mine and new thoughts but it still rings true for me and so many other women...First of all please know I am not a small girl...I hang around a size 10-12 although I have brief moments of being a size my mind I want to be an 8 but my body really doesn't want to go there - why oh why do I why fight it! I have T & A and they are not going anywhere - plus I LOVE THEM - and duh I'm Black I need them! Outside of the fact that I can't seem to kick the last 2-3 cigs a day I am very healthy (haven't had more than a drag off a friends in the past two weeks - go me!).

But as far as weight goes, let's be honest it does affect certain moves in aerial and pole, but so many things do! Height (for example with the CAR or CKR certain variations of it are easier if you are taller. If you do the foot hook it is MUCH harder if you have short legs,  the thigh cross is easier - my teacher pointed that one out to me, thanks from all the short girls) chest size (girls with bigger chests when coming out of an inverted crucifix on the floor can literally get caught on the chest if they are pouncing down - trust me I know LOL). Hair length...try crawling and accidentally getting caught on your hair - OUCH, flexibility - well you get the point...I could go on forever. There are always modifications of moves that you can talk to your teacher about as well.

The point is we all have issues and while I will admit to thinking from time to time "hmmm if I lost 15 more pounds that move would be easier" and yeah quite honestly it would be, I also recognize things that my 10-12 size body can do that others can't. I have Popeye arms which I hate,  I did gymnastics for years and get very bulky muscles quickly. I would LOVE to have a long lean look but with my height and body structure it wouldn't matter how much I lost, I have and will always be compact, but I have really strong arms and legs. I can climb with ease. I have big thighs - again not loving that but they do posses a Vulcan Death Grip and if they were smaller I would not be able to do a lot of what I can. Pick something about YOU that YOU love and focus on might be the curve of your neck or as simple as a flip of your hair...or your smile...we all have at least ONE thing about us that we love...we ought to have more!

What I'm trying to say is that EVERY BODY TYPE has something beautiful and perfect about it. Smaller, Larger, Short, Tall we all have something magical and perfect about us. There was one girl from one of my classes who NEVER touched the pole and had a body to KILL for - she ALWAYS mesmerized us in dance - seriously the whole class was SILENT when she danced...on the way out she seemed down and said "V why did nobody cheer when I danced like the rest - it's because I do no pole tricks right?" I said "NOOOOOOOO IT'S BECAUSE WE ARE SPEECHLESS!!!! YOU ARE THE MOST FLUID DANCER I HAVE EVER SEEN...YOUR HIPS DO THINGS I DIDN'T THINK POSSIBLE - WE ARE ALL IN AWE".

It was at THAT moment I realized...larger, small, tall or short we all seem to be WAY TOO HARD on ourselves and we all have our hang ups.

And there are things we can all do to improve our dance/pole/aerial work...pole/pull ups (GOD I hate those), AB workand of course my love & nemesis - working on our flexibility. Try to step away from the sport aspect for a day and just think of this as a fun dance to be enjoyed or a day goofing around in the park. It's been a while, but I am pretty sure when I was a kid on the jungle gym, it was just about having fun and not thinking "wow my butt is much bigger than Jenny's butt" (it's not by the way - my butt that is).

Most importantly, I think the number one thing that improved my dance or my feelings towards my dance was just not giving a rat's as* anymore about if my stomach looked larger in that outfit or if my thighs look too big. I'm here for me and no one else. I am my only judge. Once we move past these inhibitions, our emotions and dance will have the ability to flow freely, to move purely regardless of the weight of things.