Have you ever wanted to do something new but talked yourself out of it? I’m sure we all have at some point and while there are sometimes legitimate reasons to hold off – sometimes you just have to frickin jump! Having a plan is good but when “planning” overshadows “doing”, when we become stagnant, we need to look at what is actually holding us back.
Fear of flight and more importantly fear of failure can be overwhelming. I get it, I’ve been there – you don’t want to look stupid, you don’t want to be let down, you don’t want to be disappointed. The truth of the matter is if we never take that leap of faith, the true disappointment will be the regret of never having tried. Honestly what do you have to lose, if it doesn’t work out – and it might not, you can start over again but at least you tried. Life is growth and change, this all takes motion, I say jump!
1) Getting The New Career: This could be a new job, leaving a stable yet un-fulfilling job to start your own business “So babe did I mention I’m thinking about quitting the bank to start a Pole Dancing School?” or changing careers entirely “Yes mom I know being a lawyer is great and all but honestly I really want to be an organic soap maker for a living”. However you look at it it’s scary. I mean it’s a little less scary if you don’t have kids, a mortgage and/or a spouse, but it’s still scary. On one hand it can affect your finances, on the other hand it can affect your ego, it may create repercussions in your relationships, but in the end if you’re reading this and seriously thinking about a change all the time, if it is taking more and more sleep and more and more coffee to drag yourself to work, it’s probably time.
This is not to say you should just up and quit tomorrow, sure you need a plan but you also need to really move towards your end goal. Take it from dream to realty. Discuss it with the significant other, start saving cash, downsize and reevaluate/adjust your budget. You would be amazed at how much less money we spend when we are already happy. Our happiness at work is a huge part of our life equation. There is absolutely no point in slaving away at a job that makes us miserable until we are 67, life really is too short, especially after 67. You can have all the money in the world but if you are miserable, you are poor. So, go find that bridge job you can do in between gigs, set a “date” and then take the plunge.
2) The New City/Country/Travel: I live in LA and I love the beach, the sun, the weather. Sure I moved here for work but it was between NYC and LA and I chose the sun and the beach. I have so many friends that live in cites they hate with jobs they hate and complain that it’s making them miserable, but they stay. No guys in NYC to date – move. Too cold in the winter in Boston – move. Some don’t move because they are single and they won’t know anyone in a new place? I don’t get it, maybe it’s me but I see that as a cool plus. I mean if you were geeky in your past town/life, now you can be a rock star, you have a whole new dating pool, everything is new, you can start your life over, create a new destiny, to me new = infinite possibilities for adventure! Are you upset that you haven’t visited Italy – go! Where there’s a will there truly is a way. if you want it, find a way to do it and I don’t mean by “manifesting” it – that’s BS – well okay maybe bs is a bit harsh, it’s a lovely thought and all but I mean more like take. some. actionable. steps. Research the job market in the area you want to move to, stop eating takeout every night, buy groceries in the store, stop buying Starbucks, frickin get a credit card that gives miles or hotel dollars, pay ALL of your bills on said card and then go to Italy.
3) Being Single Again: Leave. You’re in a crappy relationship. You know it’s bad, you’re unhappy. He/she is a dick yet you stay. Is the bad that you know better than the unknown – NO. Leave. You’ve been dating a guy for 3 months and you are already in couples therapy – LEAVE. You’re getting this right? You know you need to, and yes it may be hard and it may screw you financially – in the beginning – but money comes and goes, your sanity and well-being – not so much. Staying for the children…a noble idea, BUT…and I may get yelled at here, lots of times we use this as a crutch. Leaving is hard but honestly most children in a household where the parents are constantly fighting, they feel it, they know what’s going on and that is less healthy than splitting up. Trust.
4) Waiting Until I Lose Weight To…: Take that circus/pole/surfing/karate class I’ve always wanted to try. Hmmm I’d love to get those sexy photos done but I’m too large. I need to lose a few more pounds before I go back to the gym (this one is my favorite and makes absolutely no sense). Conversely – you won’t throw out the ten thousand items you have in your closet left over from high school (you’re 40 by the way, you know that right?) because you might fit into them one day. The sad truth is if you don’t fit into them already it’s never going to happen, so sell or donate that clothing, buy yourself some booty shorts and a bra top, rent a wet suit & board and put yourself out there. Have fun now, do stuff now, enjoy and live your life now, cause for most of us (not me though, I plan on living for ever), it’s the only one you have.
5) Saving for your future: Regardless of how old you are start saving now. Teach your children the value of a job and savings at a young age. Get them excited about finance. Get them a DRIP (dividend re-investment program). Open a savings account and put something, ANYTHING in it monthly. Even if you are trying to pay down debt you have to “pay” yourself. Trust me on this one, you need to save as well as pay down debt in order to get ahead, otherwise when something comes up, you will be back on the credit card crack train. When you are older and getting ready to retire the last thing you want to deal with, other than loft bedrooms, is a lack of funds.
In the end it’s important to be able to face our fears head on. Change can be scary, it’s true and while fear can keep us safe it can also hold us back. It’s so easy to get caught into the “I’ll do later” loop or “it’s not perfect yet”. Really look at what’s holding you back, don’t let the goal of perfection stop you in your tracks and learn to take a chance and fly!
*I would love to hear some of the goals or dreams you are working towards and what you feel is holding you back.
Love & Glitter,